Patricia A. Carpenter
January 31, 1943 - March 15, 1999
This page is dedicated in loving memory to my mother, Patricia Ann Carpenter. The following words below are from my brother, sisters, and father as well as myself (Scott Carpenter).
To My Wife
The first thing that comes into my mind when I think of her is "Unconditional Love", always finding and looking for the "good" in everyone and everything. We had known each other for 44 years (35 years married) and I can honestly say today, that I am a better person because of her. She set such a wonderful example of how to live life to the fullest. Everyone loved her, she touched so many lives. It is very difficult to try and understand why someone like this leaves us so early in life. I have been blessed with some many memories of her that I will cherish until we meet again. Live well, laugh often, love much.
All My Love,
To My Mother:
She never wanted fancy cars, expensive jewelry, or luxurious vacations because to my mother, "the best things in life are free". It was the simple things in life that brought her the most pleasure.
Spending time with family and friends was what she enjoyed most. Even before she discovered she was ill, mom embraced every day of her life and considered it a gift. She would always thank God for the wonderful treasures in her life, too humble to know she was the one who created them. Even in her darkest hours she was praying for others, secure in her faith that "The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you."
True, I feel a bit cheated, but I would not trade the 27 years with my mother for one thousand with another. I feel blessed that she was my mother, and in those years (though I may not have realized it then), I learned countless things that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Thank you for your kind and generous heart, always there when we were in need.
Thank you for your unconditional love and support, your example guides and inspires me everyday.
Thank you for teaching me that "The best things in life are free", for I feel I am the richest person in the world.
I Love You Mom.
Laughter, Life, Love
When I think of my mother I think of these three words.
Boy did she have a laugh on her! Even while attempting to disclipine us as children she was able to enjoy some humor. In particular one event comes to mind.
My brother Scott and I were very, very tidy young roommates with the exception of one week in 1978. Well, Mom had just about had it, repeatedly asking us to put our weeks worth of dirty socks in the hamper. She threatened, "I’m coming back into your room in 5 minutes and I want all your dirt socks off this floor! I mean it!"
After she left I went to our desk and grabbed a box of tacks, and looked at Scott as he grinned, "She didn’t say anything about them being on the ceiling now did she?" As my mother walked down the hall toward our bedroom she announced, "Times Up!" She opened the door, glanced at the floor and said "All right you guys, Finally!" Then she looked up at all of the socks that Scott and I had tacked to the ceiling. We were literally in hysterics on the floor laughing.
Mom was full of it. I can think of no person that I know who thoroughly enjoyed living more than my mother. She found wonder in the simplest of things always stopping to smell the roses. Fun should have been her middle name. Fun to her was sharing time with family and friends. Rarely it seemed if my parents do anything alone except for the occasional weekend getaway. Even then my Mom would strike up a quick friendship with complete strangers.
Home is where our life centered. She made sure of it. It seems that each one of her kids friends lived at our house at one time or another, you know who you are. This explains why some of you here today have expressed that you feels as though you’ve lost your second mother.
It seemed Mom loved everyone. We often joke that we are thankful that she was not running the family business, as we would probably go broke. She’d probably give our homes away and offer to mind the customer’s kids in the process. She was always helping or thinking about someone else right down to the last days of her life. In the hospital chapel she prayed and lit candles for others. We said to her c’mon Mom if now was ever a time to just worry about yourself, Now is it! But, that would be selfish and not fitting of such a selfless person. We could be mad at the world, mad that her grandkids born and unborn, were robbed of such a great person. But, I know what wouldn’t solve anything. Instead I feel lucky as I’m sure we all do that we were able to Laugh with, Live with, and love such as wonderful person. We sure are lucky Mom aren’t we?
I love you more and miss you more than words can possibly say.
Here is what reminds me of you:
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
grant that I may not
So much seek to be consoled,
as to console;
To be understood as to understand;
To be loved as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning
that we are pardoned;
It is in dying
that we are born to eternal life.
My mother told me just before she died to be a good person and everyday I try, but she is a difficult act to follow. I suppose I can best describe her a selfess, always making everyone she came in contact with feel good about themselves, even if she herself did not feel her best. She had an enormous capacity for love, quick to focus on the good in people and situations and always eager for a laugh.
As I raise my two young children, I am continually calling upon my mother for guidance. Although she can no longer hold them or play with them as she once did, they know her. I feel her presence within me, often calming me just as I begin to doubt myself as a person, as a mother. As I struggle with my sadness, my one hope is that one-day I will mean as much to my children as my mother means to me.
"You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone" could not be further from the truth. The family and friends of my mother know exactly what they have lost. To the people who know our mother, the kind of person she was needs no explanation. Her charisma and intense positive attitude were contagious. "Mom" was not only sick with cancer, but also love, happiness, and an everlasting interest in the well-being of others. I and all of us are sadden by her death. We are a little more humble from the experience of all the sick people at the hospital and the fact that the death of a person so close to you makes you realize just how small we all really are. Our family has been given a really large reality check. Everyone is very sad that it took the death of "Nana Pat" to make us and others aware of the fact that life is short… As I prepare for my marriage to "the love of my life" (Terry) I can not help to feel cheated by my mom’s death. Instead I remember parts of her life. Like the time that she helped Kendog (a friend of mine) and I dig worms at midnight for fishing, and then let us take all of Dad’s beer with us. This is just a small example of the meaning of my mother’s life, she was happy helping us dig worms and she made us happy at the same time. (Has your mother ever helped you dig worms at midnight?)
Finally… Thank You to all that were there for our family, and those who continue to be her now. Thank You all for being there for our mother.
I Love and miss you. I know that you are in heaven playing scrabble with Nana, I hope that you are winning, but I know you don’t care as long as you are having fun.
I said a prayer for you today
And know God must have heard-
I felt the answer in my heart
Although He spoke no word!
I didn’t ask for wealth or fame
(I knew you wouldn’t mind)-
I asked Him to send treasures
Of a far more lasting kind!
I asked that He’d be near you
At the start of each new day
To grant you health and blessings
And friends to share your way!
I asked for happiness for you
In all things great and small-
But it was for His loving care
I prayed the most of all!
We thank you for viewing this page in dedication to our mother. We miss you Mom!
Every June in memory of our mother, my family hosts a golf outing to benefit the Melanoma Center at Massachusetts General Hospital, under the direction of Dr. Frank Haluska. The annual Sunflower Open is named after our mother’s favorite flower. This day is a fun and beneficial event supporting a truly worthy cause.
The tournament is held at Townsend Ridge C.C. in Townsend, Massachusetts. For further information about receiving a form to golf or to simply make a donation please contact me at SCARPE3967@AOL.COM.
The Friends and Family of Patricia A. Carpenter
Please support the Melanoma Research Foundation.