Sorry if this is a bit lengthy.
I had a mole on my arm for as long as I can remember but over the last few months people have been commenting on it. It has always been raised and multicolored. I went to a GP and he made it sound like there was nothing to be concerned about but that I should go to a dermatologist because it was suspicious. I went to the dermatologist and the doctor definitely didn't help me feel less nervous.
I told her all the needed info (burns, family history, how long have I had the mole, are there others) and she took a look. The first thing out of her mouth is "This is bad" and then she left the room to grab another doctor, not saying anything to me. I think she realized how upset she made me when she came back in with the other doctor and found me crying. I'm not an overly emotional person so it takes a lot to get me to cry. When I went to their office today I figured I would just be getting the mole removed to be safe, not be told that they believe it's melanoma and I need to get a biopsy. I was not mentally prepared for that conversation.
I got a incisional biopsy and heard from them one week later. The main tests were inconclusive. The mole was deep but since it is something I've had from a very early age that is not uncommon. It was strange because they were seeing atypical cells with normal cells but nothing that screamed melanoma, it was just something they were leaning to. The doctor said that she was sending out for 'special testing' to get a firm diagnosis as they can look for specific things in the tests to say one way or another.
I just got a call from the doctor saying that it is "kinda bad news." The special testing results came back negative but since the cells were so atypical they are diagnosing it as melanoma and want me do a sentinel node biopsy and a wide excision. They said even if the mole wasn't melanoma that the atypical cells can still travel to my lymph nodes and they were a concern enough that I don't want it in my body. She said it's possible that this mole would have never caused problems for me or it could be very serious.
I really am at a loss on how to feel. On one side, I guess the special tests look for specific markers all came back negative, which I think is a good thing? It sounds good but she kept saying "We are still diagnosing it as melanoma because they are so atypical." I'm picking up my pathology report this afternoon to see if I can understand any of it. I'll have to do the dreaded Google to see what I should look for. I'm trying to be hopeful and think positively but I'm just so overwhelmed. I had hoped this call would give me some closure, either I have cancer or I don't, but the doctors are still unsure but are playing it safe. I want to just accept that I do but with the uncertainty on their end it leaves me with hope that this is just a nightmare I'm going to wake up from.
Has this happened to anyone else?