Just checking in...

Posted By
11/13/2012 11:38am
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Replies: 7

I've never used the off topic forum before - it seems to me looking back that everytime I was on this dang computer I was looking up treatments or clinical trials.  I just wanted to say hello to everybody - I do not recognize many of the people on the BB now, and with losing Dave I am afraid to post.  I mean really, who wants to hear treatment advice from somebody who lost their spouse to the disease?

It's been four months now since he's been gone, and we are picking up the pieces.  The kids and I are adjusting to our new normal and just started  group therapy sponsored by the Gilda's Club (in memory of Gilda Radner).  It seems to help.  Looking back over the last 4 years, it is amazing how much I have changed - and continue to do so.  I am starting school in the spring - something that Dave always told me to do.  Whenever a doc would ask me "do you work in the medical field?" he would answer "no, but she's going back to school!".

This board was such a life line to me during Dave's journey, and I thank God that I found it.  I have found a really good on line young widows group that has helped me tremendously, both with my journey through grief and my kid's.

At any rate, I think of you all often - the people I met through this board will forever hold a place in my heart.

Live, laugh, love - really, it's what life is all about :)

Maria

Don't ever, EVER, give up!

Bubbles - (11/16/2012 - 10:30am)

I know what you mean about the board. I am so sorry for your loss. But, I am ever so pleased to hear that you and your kids are doing well, finding the help you need, and moving forward. Going back to school sounds like a wonderful plan. I wish you the very best. Celeste

chaoticallypreciselifeloveandmelanoma.blogspot.com

Tina D - (11/16/2012 - 11:17am)

I have only been on the board since May of this year, but I followed your posts since then.  I am glad to hear you have found some good sources of support for you and your children. Also, glad to hear you are going back to school... sounds like Dave always knew you would!

As for people wanting your advice... well, speaking for myself, I think your experiences will always be of value to those of us on this board, and you can relate to many of the circumstances better than someone looking in from the outside. If it is too painful for you, then I say most certainly you should avoid it. But, if you are up for it... your sweet face, advice, comfort and support will always benefit the rest of us. And, even your continued journey now, helps give me hope that if I do not live to a ripe old age, my husband and children would find a way to go forward, and that is also reassuring.

Wishing you all the best..

TIna

Phil S - (11/16/2012 - 8:59pm)

Maria, How funny it is that I never go to the off topic bulletin and tonight I did. I often wonder how you and the other caregivers are doing, after the loss of their loved one. I remember your devotion to Dave and always admired you, for fighting so hard, even when it was so tough. Plus, I could relate to you because raising children and fighting cancer puts us in a smaller group of people with unique challenges! We also take our kids to Hope Club groups (formerly run by Gilda, now American Cancer Society in our area), to deal with the uncertainty their Dad's melanoma brings to our lives!
So glad, you are returning to school and slowly moving forward. What a great tribute to Dave, I am sure he still wanted you and your kids to live their dreams. I hope you feel his spirit, I am sure he is right beside you and so proud of the strength and courage you have shown during these past few months. Keep up the good work! Take care, Valerie (Phil's wife)

jag - (11/29/2012 - 8:29am)

Hey Maria, 

You can provide plenty of support from a caregiver's perspective.  Some melanoma patients don't have anyone to help them along, and that contribution is as good as anybody with a ton of scientific knowledge.

Thank you for posting, and don't be a stranger on this board.  I hope it continues to grow back again.

John

Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

JerryfromFauq - (12/10/2012 - 9:55pm)

Glad to "see" you again.  You are always welcome on either board.  Whether one is an ultimate winner orloser in this battle, those thatlearn  caan still help otherw with their experiences to know what to expect.  The first year is very tough.  I am glad to see that you are working advaancing with life.  Your family needs it.

   I am glad to see some of "you old timers" still  round.  (Even if wwe haven't always agreed  in the past!

I so miss Bonnie Lea's great writting.  How have athose vacations been lately?

I'm me, not a statistic. Praying to not be one for years yet.

Dearest Maria, I haven't been on in months, and today came just to check on you. So I've only just found out about your love. I'm so very very sorry. He was truly a fighter! I can remember the one night at Roswell that we were both so so sick from the Interleuken.... And there you were, cheering us on! God bless you and the kids. Please know you will be in my prayers always. Kim

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

MeNDave - (1/11/2013 - 11:57pm)

Kim,

I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I was to see your post!!  I'm so glad to hear things are going well for you.  We are still plugging along... made it through the holidays... blah, blah, blah....

I've been back to the hospital a couple of times now.  It really was so much a part of my life over the past four years, and I  will be forever grateful to all of them.

As for you, keep kicking mels arse!!

Don't ever, EVER, give up!