Off-Topic Forum

The MPIP Off-Topic Forum is a community bulletin board that provides the melanoma community with a safe space to share experiences and to give and find support from others who can relate to having or caring for someone with a melanoma diagnosis. Please note: if you have an urgent question about melanoma to ask the community, visit the main MPIP Forum.

MPIP is the oldest and largest community of people affected by melanoma hosted through the Melanoma Research Foundation. It is designed to provide support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. Once you have been touched by melanoma—either as a patient or as a family member or friend of a patient—you become part of a community. It is not a community anyone joins willingly. But if you must be part of this group, you will find no better place to find the tools you need in your journey with this cancer, and the friends who can make that journey more bearable.

The information on the bulletin board is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.

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MarieM's picture
Replies 19
Last reply 10/7/2010 - 9:35pm

I need HELP. FAST. In the last week or so...I have removed 6 or 7 of these horrid insects from my home. They look prehistoric....with a shell that looks like a little tank. But just when you are grossed out to the max....THEY FREAKING FLY TOO!!!!! I've heard...I don't know for fact...they STINK if you squish I grab them up with a heavy duty platex glove a thick wad of tissue..and RUN to flush them in the toilet. Well...on the most beautiful...sunny....spectacular day in NJ....I opened the slider door in my kitchen...leaving the screen closed. AND in less than 5 min...more than 10 got in. I got all I could find (with a broom and a dustpan...I was right next to the open door) but there is one high on the drapes and one on the ceiling molding. I'm terrified to go after it with a broom...because it could fall ON MY HEAD. ANYONE...please???????? Any suggestions??????? I'm totally freaking out here.....

Freaking in NJ...Marie

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Bonnie Lea's picture
Replies 11
Last reply 10/4/2010 - 1:50pm

Dear friends:


I am down so much of late this is literally knocking my socks off.  I know most of you are worse than I, and I am not one to feel like I am a ticking time bomb for surely I am not.   But I cannot explain this pain emotionally I feel.  I know the passings of our dear ones here, have reflected on my being, but this is not the way I can continue to fight my fight.


I ask you for strength and prayers and what efer all you wanna toss at me.  I am soooooo not there where I should and need to be.  God please help us all and keep us all strong in our fight.  Melanoma truely is the enemy  not breast cancer, not thyroid cancer those seem to be able to be controlled, but MELANOMA is truely as someone here said  an ORHAN disease, and I want change, and I want it now.  At least with most other cancers we can predict and treat...what is it with melanoma?   My brother died from prostate cancer, his latter years spent in the sun to help his bones (metastiszed) and me hiding under shade.  It doesnt seem right.

Why cannot the world decide to spend the zillions of bucks needed to find a curre.   not a remission, but a damn cure!  ere it is after 8:30 pm.  no one here, but me.  I am going to bed to try to sleep. 


I love you all.

Bonnie lea

Just Keep on Hanging In

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So its really beatufull here in Aspen right now. The aspens are all bright yellow on the moutains. We caught perfect weather, mid 70's, cool evenings. All is well in Willyworld right now. Heading south to Gunnison, Durango and Mesa Verde in a few days.  Wish you were here, barf barf. :)

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BillMFl's picture
Replies 3
Last reply 10/4/2010 - 2:09pm
Replies by: Anonymous, Kimmer

So its really beatufull here in Aspen right now. The aspens are all bright yellow on the moutains. We caught perfect weather, mid 70's, cool evenings. All is well in Willyworld right now. Heading south to Gunnison, Durango and Mesa Verde in a few days.  Wish you were here, barf barf. :)

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Our dear Kurt has entered into Hospice.  Notice on our FB bless him and keep him and family in peace.

Just Keep on Hanging In

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jag's picture
Replies 3
Last reply 5/15/2014 - 12:01am

Hope you feel better!

Sorry I couldn't figure out the image thing either.

This one is called "Pumpkin doing what he does best.

Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

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TinaR's picture
Replies 8
Last reply 10/2/2010 - 10:09am
Replies by: TinaR, Bonnie Lea, raysa, LV

Apparently *I* am accepting applications  crying and Neil, 50, is one of the prospects in my virtual black book  ( he was first, I was too shaken  to note the other takers).  Of course, I am not in the market for a date, but that's another topic.

 I was REALLY trying to view the profile of a friend...they sent it to me the other day, I opened and made my comments on content. I'm matchmaking again and was going to view it once more before I forwarded on to my female friend.

I go to the site and I have to sign in- huh? I don't  remember doing that...but thought maybe I did anyway. To make it short ( for John), nothing works, I have to register. I do. No place to plug in the friend's profile name. I search everywhere. Nada. I have to fill in some further info..ok...THEN it's page after page of questions. I fill them in ( interesting)  and wait. STILL no place to plug in my friend's profile for the last minute glance. HOW did I see it before?

Holy Moley, I'm registered on a dating site and they are sending e-mail !  Just what I need. Neil sounds nice, though & I wonder if HE needs a matchmaker other than Eharmony! enlightened  I might try and see who I will not be dating over there!!!

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Tim--MRF's picture
Replies 12
Last reply 10/4/2010 - 10:57pm

Some of you have interacted with Kathy, who is the guru we have found to work with our web folks.  She is a super star, and has just added a new feature.

From now on when you click on a topic and view replies, any reply that has been added since the last time you looked will be flagged with a big yellow note saying New Reply.  This will make it easy to dip into a post and look only at what is new. 

Still working on a little glitch that keeps this from popping up on the second page of replies, but that should be fixed soon.

Kudos to Kathy for fixing this.



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dian in spokane's picture
Replies 11
Last reply 10/4/2010 - 1:53pm

I just came home and turned on the TV and Rachael Ray was on. No..Rachael doesn't creep me out that much. She always reminds me of my dad, who had a little crush on her before he died.

But..she had this bedbug guy on. Now, I've pretty much avoided most of the bedbug coverage for two reasons:

1) the pictures of the little critters make me itch

2) I have been traveling since April and there's no way out of it.

I've been LOOKING for bedbugs of course, but apparently not diligently enough.

Here's what the bedbug guy said. First thing, if you get any packages in the mail in cardboard boxes, first thing, empty them out and leave them outside. Don't store those empty boxes in your house. WELL.. I have a quarter of my basement filled with empty boxes, or worse, boxes full of styrofoam that I use to mail holiday packages.

Next..say you just spent the day at Bloomies or Macy's and come home with an armload of bags loaded with fall fashion. What do you do? You got it, shake'm out in the mud room, put them immediately into the washer, get those bags out of the house. Do you do that?

Just got home from that vacation? unload your suitcase right into your washer..well..shake everything out first..over a light colored towel, then..vacuum your suitcase. I have NEVER even considered vacuuming my suitcase.

I'm officially creeped out. I've never been the kind of person to obsess over housework. Some would say I'm the opposite, but I can't stand the idea that a bedbug infestation is almost inevitable.

Think I'll make a martini.


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dian in spokane's picture
Replies 10
Last reply 10/4/2010 - 2:26pm
Replies by: Anonymous, JMart, dian in spokane, DebbieH, TinaR, jackiewin, LizzM, jag

I am heartsick this morning to read of ANOTHER child killed by the mother's boyfriend in my fair city. It seems like since I moved here in 1971, man after another has beaten a child to death. It happens here so often that it just fills me with despair instead of anger now. I wonder if it's the water, or if it just happens everywhere.

Spokane is a relatively small place. I mean.. I grew up in Los Angelos county. Maybe back then, I was just too young to pay attention to the news, so I didn't notice that men were beating kids to death in LA too, but's always front page news. It's not always MEN mind you.. a couple of years ago, a woman killed her one of her kids, insanely, stabbing her in the car, and almost killing a second one and stabbing herself. But.. with her..well..she was nuts, as is so often the case. With the's always some stupid idiot who gets mad that the kid is crying or something and kills them by accident. I blame the dumbassed women who leave their kids in the care of these gusy too.

Last night, this fellow, james cooley, was arrested for beating a one year old to death. His five yr old brother is also injured, but the part that makes me want to VOMIT is that this guy already has a PENDING case in the courts for shaking a 6 month old baby and causing it to go blind.

It's sickening

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Anonymous's picture
Replies 25
Last reply 9/30/2010 - 3:43pm

Anyone watch this new 'reality' show?  Three sister wives and their husband is now courting a fourth potential wife.

Luke 1:37

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Yawn's picture
Replies 30
Last reply 10/10/2010 - 5:12pm

No more XXX theater action because of bed bugs. That's about it.

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TinaR's picture
Replies 31
Last reply 10/8/2011 - 8:05am

So, I'm a little stressed with all that's going on in my son is back in the hospital not feeling well at all --BUT he is cheerful ( I like that about him) .  He was hysterically laughing this morning when I told him that the priest from our old parish called to advise that the wedding invitation  my son's fiancee sent was "hinkey"... The directions included the number at the resort to reserve rooms for the weekend and when the priest called connected him to "GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS!! For a good time press number..." 

Seems the fiancee gave the printer the wrong number!  ( the priest laughed, too).  I already knew as my 80 year old aunt had called me a couple of days ago expressing her mock, giggly horror - SO funny.  The fiancee doesn't think so....she doesn't  have any sense of  humor. I worry about my son's future.

Son was released from hospital last Monday ..but nauseous all week/sick...started  vomiting blood again and now it's coming from other locations. He will have a procedure today to figure out what's going on  . I'm out of my mind ( I want to take him to a real hospital in Baltimore, but I'm afraid he will bleed to death on the drive down there) ... I don't like this hospital at all...waiting for pain meds takes forever,  the room is dirty and smells, the nurse on duty last night looks like she hasn't combed her hair in months..even the curtain that wraps around the bed has visible stains! AND they don't have wifi? WHAT kind of place is this? He will get some sort of drug resistant bacteria for sure. I had to hold a bottle of scented hand cream to my nose while there- it is that bad. His fiancee is a nurse in this health care system-he wants to be where she is and refuses to listen to his Mommy.  I am NOT liking this trend...( AND she's wearing colored clod-hoppers under her pretty, ivory, crystal beaded wedding gown?!? WTH?)



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Bonnie Lea's picture
Replies 0

I just now realized..... (hours after the fact)  that Idid not have to click my login thingy, nor the one that says  'remember me'  when I asked for here, voila it came, and I just now figured it out!   Today is aslow brain day for me.


just thought I would ask if anyone today who has had to do that each time the computer has been shut off  did not have to do it.

Just Keep on Hanging In

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LV's picture
Replies 9
Last reply 9/29/2010 - 9:26pm
Replies by: TinaR, LV, Yawn, bcl, jag, King, Bonnie Lea

Today marks 2 years since my husband passed away. For a number of reasons, I feel an obligation to mark it here, as this board has been a virtual second home for me for a long time. Like any family, there have been squabbles and misunderstandings, but family is family, and like it or not, you're stuck with me.

Time is a funny thing. It goes both fast and slow at the same time. It seems like both ages ago, and just yesterday. Some things I remember clearly, and some things fade away, and too bad I don't get to choose which.

Grayum was a great guy, and still was sometimes hard to live with. Maybe that's true of any long-term relationship. Some things have been just incredibly hard since he's been gone, and honestly, some things have been easier (oh, I'm so glad he's not having to worry his business through these awful economic times; he would have been miserable, and so would everybody he dealt with, including me, lol! The man was born to worry). I'm truly sorry that he didn't get to see his sons graduate from college, and start grad school, but I can feel his pride every time I look at them.

I was afraid I would be a puddle on the floor today, especially as a couple of big things have happened in the last month or so, but hell, I'm not even drunk! I had to have my dog put down last month. She was a 14 year old golden retreiver mix that he brought home one day, and the best dog I ever was owned by. By god, that was hard. I was also finally able to let go of his truck, and sold it last week. It was the last big part of him to go - funny how inanimate objects can represent a person so clearly. But that truck was purely him, right down to the Uranus symbol on the gate, and the origami crane hanging from the rear-view mirror. He was a man who loved his mixed messages!

There were two things we talked about as ways for him to let me know he was around after he died. One was floating a white feather horizontally, a la John Lennon. The other was to just tap me on the shoulder. Both of these things have happened. So I'm a believer in some kind of afterlife. Sometimes it seems like he still likes to mess with my head, just because he can. I've started dating (!!) and the man I'm seeing just happens to have his birthday on the same day as G's death. 364 other days to choose from, and it has to fall on the same day? WTF? I don't really believe in coincidence, so it's kind of hard to not see his hand in this. Call me crazy if you like - oh wait, I think many of you already have.

So, anyway. In spite of the changes, I'm glad to still have this board. It certainy has a place in my heart (or what passes for my heart, anyway).  I would like to ask each of you to hug someone you love today, and remember why you love them. Celebrate love in every way you can.



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