Off-Topic Forum

The MPIP Off-Topic Forum is a community bulletin board that provides the melanoma community with a safe space to share experiences and to give and find support from others who can relate to having or caring for someone with a melanoma diagnosis. Please note: if you have an urgent question about melanoma to ask the community, visit the main MPIP Forum.

MPIP is the oldest and largest community of people affected by melanoma hosted through the Melanoma Research Foundation. It is designed to provide support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. Once you have been touched by melanoma—either as a patient or as a family member or friend of a patient—you become part of a community. It is not a community anyone joins willingly. But if you must be part of this group, you will find no better place to find the tools you need in your journey with this cancer, and the friends who can make that journey more bearable.

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TinaR's picture
Replies 14
Last reply 9/14/2010 - 10:19am
and haven't been sleeping well---can't stop thinking about this past weekend and feeling awful. My heart hurts for the family that lives a couple doors down. Well, hurts for the mother and the son...but I can't seem to muster anything but disgust for the husband. I know it's not right...but I can't help it.  The mother committed suicide on Friday. Our street was blocked off by police cars and ambulances for hours while the mom was barricaded up in her bedroom . People were running all over...policemen, children, neighbors...I had no idea what was going on, but I knew it was bad. When I was able to drive back to my house- I didn't go out or hear anthing again...until it was all over. By 7 that night- we learned that our neighbor was dead.
 
 She had been in horrible pain since a botched back surgery a six years ago...unable to repair. She used a walker and you would always see her trying to make it up the street with her mini wiener dog...rain/sleet or snow.  She couldn't do much of anything...not mow the lawn, shop, stand for more than a short walk up the block...or even bend to garden.  The day before she died she told her next door neighbor that she wished she could be "normal". 
 
Apparently-  earlier this week her husband said he was going to leave her. Ah. 
 
I can only imagine how frightened, frantic and desperate she was...what was she going to do? She was 47, a stay at home Mom .  How would she live/work/take care of herself and  her child- she could barely move . She had somehow purchased a gun-- this a couple of days ago. She left a suicide note and a middle school boy . As the police were trying to figure out what was going on--her son was in there.  It was so confusing and I didn't know what was going on as I pulled into my street with my daughter and her friend in the car - we were stopped by the barricades and police.  At that moment, another of our neighbors was running from the house covered by a policemen...taking son to her home to get him away from it all. It was so strange as I looked over on their lawn... the  husband was sitting, stretched out on the lawn, with a policeman standing over him ...waiting until the wife was finished so they could go inside ( this -I don't understand at all). The police didn't go inside because they thought she would shoot them? 
 
How awful the afternoon must have been, the son when he came home from school --  the mother was still alive at the time?- why else would the streets be blocked & the police and people running everywhere. That poor boy's life is forever scarred. The picture of that husband sitting on the lawn  ...just looking around like it was any other day bothers me.  I keep going round and round in my mind---her pain and the desperation, her little boy .
 
On return from the grocery store today  I started to cry, again....because their garage door was open----that man is in there...the one who was going to abandon that frightened, broken woman and it makes me feel awful. For better or for worse...I guess he just didn't get it. Does he have her child in there? 
 
What's even more bizarre...this is my second suicide experience in 2 months. At least, this time ,I didn't see the victim. Even with that gruesome turn of events, the first one didn't affect me as much as this ...and it's  odd because I knew the first person very well. I was angry at the victim in that case and overwhelmed with another difficult situation at that point.   Maybe it's all coming together, now, because I'm just emotionally sick and hyper focused on the sadness of this  poor woman and her son. I'm going to lie down next to my daughter and stare at the ceiling until 6 a.m.

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Brandi's picture
Replies 5
Last reply 9/15/2010 - 8:50am
Replies by: W., Brandi, Janner, DonW

Hi all,

I was just dx'd with having melanoma last week. Two lesions one on my rib cage is in situ, the other on my inner calf is malignant spitzoid melanoma. The questions I have are the following: spitzoid melanomas are very rare? I have done a lot of research and to say the least data is conflicting with these types of melanomas. My patho report showed a lesion 1.6mm, Clark's IV, Growth phase vertical, mitotic rate=0, TIL's non-brisk, Regression absent, ulceration absent, perineural invasion absent, lymphovascular invasion absent, margins uninvolved but melanoma is present 3mm from the nearest margin, satellites absent. Does anyone have any idea of what the heck this all means. I know all of the technical jargon and I know how to interpret these different diagnostic factors but what I don't know is does this patho report sound good? It does sound pretty hopeful to me due to the absence of so many factors. I have done a lot research with regard to pathology of these lesions and I see nothing that mimics my report in the least. I was just curious what you all might think being that you have been dealing with this longer than I have. I have been making myself crazy trying to figure all of this out. I am a nurse so Type A would be an understatement LOL;). I have an appt this Friday with an oncologist who specializes in melanoma and I realize he can answer all of these questions but if I can talk to someone before hand I think it would ease my mind. thanks in advance for any comments you all have to offer. I wish you all the best with your dx's as well.

Brandi

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BillMFl's picture
Replies 3
Last reply 9/13/2010 - 2:02am
Replies by: Jocelyn, BillMFl

Peter, a very long time waiter at DeMillo's rememered you and said you were always a hoot. Or was it a snoot?  :)

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jag's picture
Replies 6
Last reply 9/12/2010 - 8:51pm
Replies by: bill58, jag, Kevin from Atlanta, Bonnie Lea, Anonymous

So there I was sitting in my room at Sloan itching to get out post surgically, somebody comes to the door and asks if I would be interested in "musical therapy"? I looked at Merry, and thought hey why the fuck not?  So in comes a woman with a ton of musical instruments, mild mannered, calm, friendly, yudda yudda, yudda.  She starts into the whole Kumbaya, guitar thing and we roll our eyes and humor her pretending like it is soothing, whatever.  Next thing you know she brings out the "ocean drrum"  Never heard of it before.  Basically it is a drum with BBs in it.  Coolest thing, I have ever seen.  There is a clear view to the bottom of the small cylinder, the BBs roll over the surface of the drum, you can watch them as they go.  Not only is it mesmerizing, it actually sounds just like the ocean, or a heavy rain.  If you concentrate on it, you can work on a regular pattern, even that though becomes irregular, just like the real ocean, watching the BBs swirl is like staring at a campfire, definitely great if you need to sit and think.     

Also comes with a cool drumstick which I use to scare the hell out of Biscuit.

 

Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

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debbieVA's picture
Replies 20
Last reply 9/20/2010 - 7:33am

All I can say is...Jerry is one tough Son of a gun.  This former Marine hasn't let Stage 4 Mel get the best of him...nor was he about to let an unbelievable horseback riding accident either!  His daughter got a message thru to me via fb...that he wanted to talk to me.  I called earlier this afternoon.  Jerry was up in a wheelchair and had just returned to his room following a successful  'swallow test'.  He had his trach and feeding tube  removed yesterday and will now be able to eat real food.   He was alert, oriented, laughing and generally happy with the outcome.  He is able to walk to the bathroom with the help of a walker and thankfully has no memory of the accident.  

God is good....

debbieVA

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Rodensir's picture
Replies 6
Last reply 9/10/2010 - 9:32pm

Some people might remember me some not the site is so boring now.  I am or was stage four (but after 5 years no telling what the doc think now).  

This spring I had surgery to remove a new lump in my lung that turned out to be benign (so I missed the bullet again) and after recovery from that.  I decided to go for another long bike ride.  This time down the Mississippi River.

If anyone wants to follow the blog is:

Oldmuddybikeride.blogspot.com

Hope you all play nice and try to find some way to have fun here.

We need the old days back with the afghan wars or just some bad poems anything to liven life up. Obama topics just do not seem to fire up the political fire fights that used happen here.  Even the dumb stuff in FL and NY do not seem to stir the pot as much they used to. Maybe we are all just getting old.  

Maybe when I get back thing will move along.

Allan

PS Hope you like married life Cyn

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KyCyn's picture
Replies 13
Last reply 9/15/2010 - 9:30am
Replies by: KyCyn, Bonnie Lea, jag, Anonymous, dian in spokane, TinaR

I didn't realize until lately that the whole area in question already houses strip clubs, fast food joints, etc... Why would we allow those things at 'sacred' ground, but not a religious community center? 

 

I think I smell some rats...

 

Cyn

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BillMFl's picture
Replies 1
Last reply 9/9/2010 - 11:09pm
Replies by: dian in spokane

I SEE IN YOUR POSTS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN HAVING TROUBLE GETTINGTHE OLD LOG IN.  GET THE OLD BOY SOME VIAGRA OR CIALIS. YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.  :)I

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jag's picture
Replies 5
Last reply 9/10/2010 - 7:57am
Replies by: Bonnie Lea, yoop, LV, jag

want to be all snooty and pal around with the likes of Don W, Cyn, BillMfl and Yawn.

 

Anybody ever hear of this one?

 

Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

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Hillary Clinton.  Oh man did we screw up.

We lost an opportunity that will not come again for a while and the next time a negro (we're ALL african americans) is elected will be a seed pod sent to...Vector..

Bill, can you get my dryer vent?

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BillMFl's picture
Replies 13
Last reply 9/11/2010 - 3:30pm

The format is awkward to use, the turnout is meager and the topics are dull.  Used to be a lot of fun but now deadly dull. Death to smootchie? If they wanted bland they sure got it. Mostly sterile other than crazy Dan and his supersized waist band. Yawn dozed off or left town with Mother Teraysa. Tina, Dian and Cyn try hard but don't get much support. Too bad. It was fun for a long time tho.

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http://www.msnice.net/index.html

 

I noticed this ad for a few days ---while reading a particular site ( always looking to catch a glimpse of someone- you never know) - today was the day I clicked...

Mr. Nice looking for Ms. Nice!    IF  you are perfect...hurry over - this guy sound like a catch ( IMHO - sounds like something you'd be better off NOT catching...but true to my matchmakers heart I had to pass this along  for the women looking for love with equally unrealistic expectations )

Bitches need not apply ( on the other hand...I'd LOVE to see the advertisement by the man looking for a just that type of gal!)

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dian in spokane's picture
Replies 9
Last reply 9/8/2010 - 8:22pm

so, it appears that more than a few of us are having the same problem with our log in process. Mainly that we have to log in every time we visit, even though we've requested that the site remember our log in.

what's up with that?

dian

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dian in spokane's picture
Replies 6
Last reply 9/7/2010 - 11:10am

I'm having a problem with being relentlessly logged off of this site. I know I'm not alone in this, since Fen posted something last week or so about having the same issue.

I've tried about everything I can think of to fix it, but it happens over and over. It asks me if I want to stay logged in, I say yes, but if I close the site and come back a few mintues later, I have to log in again.

unlike Fen, who has to add his password over and over again, I don't.. once I start the log in process (by putting in the first initial of my name) it shows my name in the pop up window, and once I choose that, it shows that my password is saved, then I hit the 'do you want to stay logged in button', then log in, and I'm fine, but I have to do it every time.

Like Fen, I also had that red box telling me something about info being compromised and that I'd been logged off. I was out of town, logging in from a hotel at that time, so I sort of assumed that the problem was due to me being on a public line, but I've not been able to correct it since returning home.

I noticed on the main board, that when Fen posted, several others mentioned that they were having the same problem (jerry from CC was one)

For all I know everyone is having the problem. Any suggestions?

dian

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BillMFl's picture
Replies 1
Last reply 9/7/2010 - 3:04pm
Replies by: KyCyn

Nice pics, nice couple!!!   Love your boat. Here's to fair winds and happy sailing for you guys. :)

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