Off-Topic Forum

The MPIP Off-Topic Forum is a community bulletin board that provides the melanoma community with a safe space to share experiences and to give and find support from others who can relate to having or caring for someone with a melanoma diagnosis. Please note: if you have an urgent question about melanoma to ask the community, visit the main MPIP Forum.

MPIP is the oldest and largest community of people affected by melanoma hosted through the Melanoma Research Foundation. It is designed to provide support and information to caregivers, patients, family and friends. Once you have been touched by melanoma—either as a patient or as a family member or friend of a patient—you become part of a community. It is not a community anyone joins willingly. But if you must be part of this group, you will find no better place to find the tools you need in your journey with this cancer, and the friends who can make that journey more bearable.

The information on the bulletin board is open and accessible to everyone. To add a new topic or to post a reply, you must be a registered user. Please note that you will be able to post both topics and replies anonymously even though you are logged in. All posts must abide by MRF posting policies.

Expand/ Collapse Topic
 
Replies By
View Topic
BillMFl's picture
Replies 3
Last reply 3/2/2013 - 9:53pm

I mean if he was still in office we would be busy bombing Syria, Somalia, North Korea and Iran. The Defense industry would be booming, unemployment would be down and Dick Cheny might crack a smile for the first time in 20 years. We are wasting all these bullets shooting each other here at home. Wouldn't it be more fun to use them against the Axis of Evil? No I don't mean the Republican Congress, even though its tempting to include them as members of the Axis. :)  

Login or register to post replies.

MarieM's picture
Replies 12
Last reply 3/2/2013 - 3:14pm
Replies by: JerryfromFauq, NYKaren, jag, BillMFl, MarieM, Anonymous, POW

Login or register to post replies.

POW's picture
Replies 7
Last reply 2/26/2013 - 9:02am

My brother's melanoma has spread all over his body, including his brain. There are no more treatments his doctors can offer him. He is now in a nursing home in Tampa and I am going to visit him for a couple of days (I live in Atlanta). His nurses say that he is very weak and needs assistance to walk, but he is not in pain and he is mentally alert and well-oriented. 

This will probably be my last visit with him-- at least my last visit while he is still able to recognize people and communicate. If you were the patient, how would you like this visit to go? I assume that he will tire easily so I will probably visit for an hour or two in the morning, leave him to rest and sleep for a while, and then come back later in the day for another hour or two. If he's up to it, perhaps I can borrow a wheelchair and take him to visit his beloved sailboat. Or go out to lunch. Most of the time I intend to just hang out with him, maybe watch some television or fix his laptop (he can't get the wifi to work) or remenisce about our old sailing adventures or the hard-nosed nuns at our parochial school. Or just sit quietly and read a book while he dozes. 

I guess my concern is whether I should bring up any discussion about the end of life. My brother is a very self-contained man and seldom talks about his feelings about anything. He has never said anything about his emotional reaction to his impending death. (Other than to say, "What will be, will be.") I know he believes in God and an afterlife, but he is not a church-goer. Should I ask him if he wants to talk to a priest? Or a hospice counselor? Or should I just leave him be?

Any advice or insight would be appreciated. 

Login or register to post replies.

After a ton of treatments I learned that the first thing you have to be able to do to get out of the hospital is just to get out of bed.  In between treatments I kept myself as active as possible to get up the next time.  After a while I guess, melanoma either felt sorry for me or gave up.  I can't tell which.  This guy has the best treatment philosophy out there.  Rather than worrying about the right things to eat all day, just stay active and don't eat as much.

http://www2.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/2013/02/how-staying-active-and-t-c...

Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

Login or register to post replies.

jag's picture
Replies 10
Last reply 2/22/2013 - 7:56am

Carole K suckered me into participating in the "all new and improved chat feature" that has has been set up w/this website.  The only problem is that some people came in and dominated the whole room and ignore the patients (reason when I first signed in under a pseudonym I found it to be completely useless).  Just a thought, rather than being a whiner, could the computer people set up "after hours" for chat with no moderator where anything goes? then earlier new patients could get the information and support they need, later on, old timers retirees, housewives and the like could chat and catch up if they so desire.  To confess I realized that I was dominating after a few minutes of catching up with people I hadn't contacted in a while and newbies who didn't feel comfortable weren't responding,  since this website is set up for support of patients, shouldn't that be a priority?

Not trying to start a fight here, will not respond if you are trying to wind this into a big debate.  Just trying to help.

Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

Login or register to post replies.

silvia1990's picture
Replies 6
Last reply 2/21/2013 - 9:04am
Replies by: jimmylucas, Jenifous89, youtuy, Anonymous, Charlesk111

 

So here's the thing, I accidently spilled water on my iphone 4, although it has been fixed, it still get kind of "unstable", sometimes it just suddenly shut itself down.
Since iphone 5 is coming soon, I think I'll wait till then to get a new one.However, I have a pile of important contacts saved on my watered iphone 4 and I'm so afraid that they'll be gone with the damaged phone right before I could get a new one. But if I can copy these contacts to itunes, then next time I'll be able to transfer them to the new iphone,right? Or just copy to computer? Any difference?
Anyway, I just want the contacts to be backuped, any good idea? I use Dell PC with Win 7 system.I don't mind if I have to pay for a tool but it would be the best if there's a free and easy way.Help me please!!

Login or register to post replies.

I mean if he was still in office we would be busy bombing Syria, Somalia, North Korea and Iran. The Defense industry would be booming, unemployment would be down and Dick Cheny might crack a smile for the first time in 20 years. We are wasting all these bullets shooting each other here at home. Wouldn't it be more fun to use them against the Axis of Evil? No I don't mean the Republican Congress, even though its tempting to include them as members of the Axis. :)  

Login or register to post replies.

BillMFl's picture
Replies 8
Last reply 2/11/2013 - 8:41am
Replies by: Bonnie Lea, Janner, BillMFl, POW

I'm having mine today. Did you have yours recently? Soon? Don't forget!

Login or register to post replies.

POW's picture
Replies 2
Last reply 2/7/2013 - 9:33pm
Replies by: BillMFl, jag

A week or so ago I shared with you that I had finally realized that I was depressed and that depression was seriously affecting my quality of life and my abililty to earn a living. The advice and support that I received from all of you really helped me. I am now pleased to report that the depression is lifting and things are getting better. 

I think the most important change was to not only recognize that I was depressed, but to stop trying to bull my way through it. I think my initial response to the diagnosis of depression was, "Yeah. OK. I'm depressed. So what? Keep going!" That was just making things worse. And then I would get down on myself even more for my continued lack of productivitity. 

What helped was to take the depression seriously and "treat" it. I decided to make getting exercise and having fun become my top priority. Hence, I did a lot of gardening and permitted myself to take a nap after lunch without guilt (a "curative rest" you might say). I did do a few hours of work each day, but as soon as I realized that I was having to put a gun to my head to keep working, I stopped for the day. Again, NO GUILT allowed!

I started telling myself that I am sick much like my brother (the melanoma patient) is sick. Would I expect him to push and push himself to be productive while he is going through his troubles? Of course not. I would cut him some slack, wouldn't I? So I should cut myself some slack, too. 

By doing little pieces at a time, I finally finished one of the projects I was working on. The finished product has been posted to the Internet, the client is happy, and I'm feeling proud of myself. Yes, it took a few weeks longer than I expected it to, but so what? There aren't exactly ravening hordes of people demaning access to this new computer-based training course. The urgency was in my head. 

I'm cutting myself some slack in other ways, too. If I feel like cooking dinner, I do. If I don't feel like cooking we eat leftovers or get takeout. My husband is perfectly fine with that. As a consquence of this more relaxed attitude, I find myself cooking a decent dinner more often than I was. Again, the pressure and expectations were coming from inside myself. I did get myself to pay the most important bills, but the ones that were not urgent went back in the "To Do" file because I thought it would be healthier for me to take a nap at that moment. NO GUILT.

I won't consider myself "cured" of depression until I get back to my normal level of energy and productivity. I don't know how long that will take-- weeks? months? But I am certainly feeling better than I was. I am getting more accomplished than I was (albeit in little bits and pieces). And my garden is certainly looking better than it was! smiley

Thanks again to all of you who helped me with this problem!

Login or register to post replies.

MarieM's picture
Replies 0

iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BaQdwTsVtCY?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> 

Login or register to post replies.

MarieM's picture
Replies 0

iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/BaQdwTsVtCY?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> 

Login or register to post replies.

yoop's picture
Replies 7
Last reply 2/7/2013 - 8:45am
Replies by: MarieM, yoop, MeNDave, KyCyn, jag

Per Bill I will throw out a couple rants.
1st Rant: A stalker is stalking a friend of mine.
So.... My friend has taken out a PPO out on this guy, had the cops come over numerous times, they even went to talk to him and told him to lay off the stalking. Does stalker care? Nope. He continues to leave: dog poop; fire starter kits; matches; cans; coins; brake fluid; or anything else in his car that he can throw out. Police can't arrest the guy without proof so she needs a surveillance camera to catch him. OK, how F'ed up is this?
You can't rant without a solution so how about this one:? Shouldn't there be a Stalker Clunking business where you pay them... Say $300 and a guy goes over to stalker dude and clunks him on the head with a 2x4 then says if he stalks some more, more clunkings? And then, he gets chipped... (Like you put in your dog in case it runs away), this way stalker guy/gal can be tracked.
Now, you might say this is unconstitutional and the stalker has rights. True, however, look at the rights the stalker guy is taking away. (My friend is in constant fear, because the guy is a wack job)
Lets say stalker guy gets clunked and finally decides to stop spending his time in this wacko behavior. He now has extra time to possibly become a use to society, stalkee person then doesn't have to live in constant fear and can also use her time better. Win Win.

2nd Rant: Tenant gives me ulcers.
So... I had this renter who was late on her rent every month. (In her mind she wasn't late because she gave me a check), however, her check was never good so I would go to the bank with check and try to cash it. If I just deposited it and it bounced (happened over and over to me) I got dinged. I then wise'd up and would have the cashier see if the money was in her account, if it was, I cashed it, then deposited it.
Finally, she moved out and squared up on what she owed me. I go to the bank and was surprised that the check cleared so I cashed it then deposited it. Life is good, bad renter lady is now not causing me grief, etc. etc.
Today I get a letter from my bank with the check from renter saying insufficient funds., and they deduct the money from my acct. Big F'ing F F F F F F F.
Other than these rants, life is grand.

Yoop

Login or register to post replies.

BillMFl's picture
Replies 1
Last reply 2/7/2013 - 8:36am
Replies by: MarieM

This Off Topic BB used to be very very active. It was a combination of patients, caregivers and family members. And it was an anything goes outlet for all of us. We fought, we laughed and often became very close.  It linked people from all over the US and other countries as well.  It became a great place to blow off steam, laugh, curse or cry.  It also got abused by some and that eventually drove away a lot of people.  Perhaps some of you should grasp the opportunity and use this almost empty board to vent and share about things you don't feel comfortable talking about on the main board.  Its here for the taking. Make it yours!

Login or register to post replies.

bioguy's picture
Replies 1
Last reply 2/5/2013 - 10:34am
Replies by: kbc123

Hi All.  I'm new to the site.  I'm a 40 y/o white male with fair skin.  I saw my primary care doc for a lesions on my chest.  It's certainly atypical for melanoma presentation, but it has enlarged over the past 18 months, and started to appear dry and bleed in spots.  It appears like a slightly raised, reddish, mole-like.  I didn't pay it much attention at first, but after my primary care suggested a see a dermatologist for a biopsy, I'm really nervous.  I didn't sleep at all last night, so on top of the anxiety, I'm exhausted. 

Any advice from you guys?  I've always thought that by the time the mole/lesion is bleeding that it's quite advanced and there's not much that can be done.  Any help you all can give would be so greatly appreciated. 

 

Thanks so much. 

Login or register to post replies.

Pages