Loneliness and Melanoma?

Posted By
8/27/2010 11:32pm
Replies: 2

Just wondering if anyone else has encountered these same type of feelings.  Before being diagnosed with Stage 3 Melanoma I moved across the country away from all of my family and friends with my new husband.  Being in a new environment, not feeling quite myself, I have found it so difficult to make friends my age (I'm 29).  I find that many women my age are dealing with such different things like starting their families, etc.  Although I've been NED for a little over a year now, and am finished with my interferon treatments (I did 4 and 1/2 months,) I'm definitely still reeling from everything that I've been through.  Although I believe that I'm quite positive most of the time, I've had a few breakdowns with new friends, and find them running the other way.  Maybe my situation reminds others how fragile life is?  Maybe others don't realize how serious melanoma is and think I'm being a drama queen?  I've never had difficulty making friends before, and now is when I need them the most.  Anyone else experienced anything like this? 

Janet2 - (8/28/2010 - 5:25am)

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through and can appreciate how you feel. From experience I find some people get frightened by the word cancer or melanoma and don't seem to want to know, where as others can be supportive. I am pleased you are NED and hope you stay that way. Also, I hope you're able to make some new friends who you find you can talk to.

I'm sure others on this forum will offer you advice and support as I have always found it such a forum. Would it be possible to try and make friends through organisations etc that have similar interests to you?


Fen - (8/28/2010 - 8:29am)

Old friends have years of positive interaction with us so when we break down they support us because they know this is not the way we usually are.  New friends may think we are always in distress and run.  

How about a cancer support group?  If you post your general location someone might know of a group in the area.  You can also try local hospitals or find a Gilda's Club.   

You could also join an organization because you are interested in the work (Habitat for Humanity or something else) .  If you don't look for friends you will find them.   One more thing -  i know you need friends your own age, but older people are  sometimes more accepting of foibles and are pretty interesting.

Fen (who is a long standing member of the "older people" group)