Eric is at Hospice

Posted By
Jill and Eric in Fl
10/14/2010 4:55pm
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Replies: 40

I wanted to post an update to let you know that Eric has been moved to hospice. He was having a lot of pain and the meds we had at home just weren't controlling it anymore, it got so bad Sun night I had to call an ambulance. On the way to the hospital his heart rate was 240, the doctors all came in and gave us our options and he decided no more treatments. He was moved to the hospice house on Tues and they finally have his pain under control and he is very lucid sometimes and very out of it talking nonsense other times. Nights seem to be the hardest he get out of bed and try to go home, last night he told me I was scaring him and that he didn't trust me anymore, I know it's the disease and he medications talking but it broke my heart. He hadn't eaten in 3 days but since the pain is under control he has started to eat  little. We have no way of knowing how long we have left but we know it's between him and God now. We are prying for a peaceful passing or a wonderful miracle. It is very hard because he gets very anxious when I am not here so I try to stay with him but I also need to go and comfort and console my children. My 13 year old daughter, who because of this disease is wise beyond her years, said "Mom, Dad doesn't have much time left, go take care of him, help him with this final journey, you can take care of us later"  They have been wonderful, taking care of things at home and putting on such brave faces. My 10 year old son said it best, "Mom, melanoma is mean"  I couldn't agree more. Praying for peace and comfort for Eric and praying for all the warriors out there battling this awful mean disease

Jill and Eric in Fl

Sherron - (10/14/2010 - 5:29pm)

Oh Jill,

I am so sorry it come to this...You all fought so hard.  I wish you peace and comfort and a pain-free journey for Eric.

Eric will forever be in your heart.. May God bless you and your children.


Take Care,

Sherron, wife to Jim

Jim M. - (10/14/2010 - 6:06pm)


 I'm sure words can't adequately describe what you're going through. I pray the meds are controlled to the point that Eric is more himself. Your children seem so mature and wise. They will need you more than ever. I will pray about what you posted and most of all for His peace and strength in your lives. Where in Florida do you live?

 God Bless,

 Jim M.

triciad - (10/14/2010 - 6:07pm)


I am so sorry to hear about Eric.  Please know that you are all in my prayers.  I will be praying for a miracle!  Please keep us posted.


Lori C - (10/14/2010 - 6:15pm)

I will also be praying as you suggested, a miracle or peaceful passage.  And comfort to you.

Jaime.30 - (10/14/2010 - 6:23pm)

Praying for you family!  I am so sorry.

akls - (10/14/2010 - 6:48pm)



I'm so sorry to read this.  Your daughter is an amazing girl. It brought tears to my eyes when I read what she said to you. I will be praying for your family.  God bless.


Amy S. in Michigan

Stage IIIA 6  years NED Completed 1 year interferon 2009.  God is Good.

James from Sydney - (10/14/2010 - 6:52pm)

Jill, i know how hard it is for you and i can tell you a lot of Eric's reactions are the drugs to keep him at ease. The most important thing is that you are with him and say the things you want to say. It gets to a point where you do not want to see your loved one suffer any more. May love and peace surround you at this difficult time.


Anonymous - (10/14/2010 - 7:26pm)



You are an amazing caregiver. My husband is my caregiver, and instead of empathizing with my situation as a stage 3, he is just tired of having to deal with me and this desease. He tells me  not to play the"cancer card" with him. I think that he is just waiting for me to die to get on with his life.


I envy Eric for the love and support you have given him. You did everything thing you could for Eric and your ppost brings me to tears. Your kids sound wonderful and will be your comfort.

Linda/Kentucky - (10/15/2010 - 12:23pm)


I hope you do have somebody to help support you.  I am sorry your husband does not fit the role as a supportive caregiver at this time.  I'm sure he is not just waiting for you to die.  Although it's hard to accept, sometimes people deal with unfortunate news differently than others.  This may be his way (coping mechanism)of putting up his defense to keep from getting hurt so bad.  I do pray you have people who can lift you up  when your down because this is a horroble disease and your emotions are like a roller coaster ride up-down and all around.  Do know we on this message board care and support you and if you ever need to talk shout to us.  I pray your husband will soon come to accept this disease and be there for you. My heart breaks for you~~ 



I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! Phillipians 4:13

Cate - (10/14/2010 - 7:40pm)

Jill,  I'm so sorry you are going thru this.  I will pray for you and your family and hope Eric finds peace and comfort.

King - (10/14/2010 - 8:29pm)



Thank you for taking the time to share this news with us.  Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  I hope that Hospice gives you all the support that you need.  There are so many people counting on you so please try to take care of yourself, too.


Stay Strong

King (another Floridian)

Stage IV  7/05 Liver mets

MaryD - (10/14/2010 - 9:11pm)

Jill - I'm so sorry that you are all going through this very difficult time . .but what a wonderful and brave family you have!   Please know I will be praying for all of you and that Eric stays peaceful and out of pain.

Love and prayers,


MaryBZ - (10/14/2010 - 9:39pm)


I am so sorry  you and your lovely children have to be experiencing this dreadful disease (mean melanoma).  Although I know our God is a good God I struggle every day with the question why?  If God is all powerful then why does he allow the suffering?  I know the life after this one is perfect without pain, but it doesn't make the suffering on earth any easier to deal with.

Take comfort in the support and strength you have provided for your family.  We are not all as blessed as Eric to have such a compassionate caregiver.

I will offer up prayers for Eric, you, and your children.



You don't know what your future holds but you know who holds your future!

ValinMtl - (10/14/2010 - 10:00pm)

My thoughts are with Eric, you and your dear children during this very difficult time. I'm so sad.  Val

Live Laugh Love
Nothing is worth more than this day!

Nancy - (10/14/2010 - 10:11pm)

Hi Jill,

I'm so sorry to read this about Eric.  I'm glad you have been there for him each and every step of the way...

May God comfort you in knowing you went the last mile right beside Eric.





JoanR - (10/15/2010 - 12:24am)

My Dear Jill, I am so sorry it has come to this. I am pleased Eric is in Hospice, he will be comfortable and well cared-for...and so will you !!  Take good care of yourself, and now you can be Eric's wife and leave his care to the professionals.

It is so sad when the children have to see their Father in such discomfort, but so wonderful they are so perceptive and understanding.

I had a book when my Ron was in Hospice called, "Final Gifts". If you can get it I think you would find valuable. It tells you what to expect and how to communicate and interact with a dying person. It is short and easy to read, and provided me with unbelievable comfort.

May Eric's time be peaceful and may you find comfort in knowing your care and love will help him through his final days.

Your son is right, melanoma is mean...I hate it !!   My best, Joan

bill58 - (10/15/2010 - 9:15am)


You, Eric and the rest of your familiy are in my thoughts and prayers.

I am happy that the pain is getting under contol and Eric is able to eat.  I hope this whole situation is not to hard on your children, They sound like very wise and caring children.

I am sure that the rest of the members of this board are thinking and praying for you and Eric through this difficult time.


Bill from Illinois
Stage IV Spine Mets, brain mets ans subq mets.
starting whole brain radiation on 11/8 and then compassionate use IPI ASAP.

jag - (10/15/2010 - 9:29am)

Jill, I am very sorry for you in this difficult time.  I will pray for a miracle, that you and your family have strength to get through this.

God Bless


Insert Generic Inspirational Motto Here

molly - (10/15/2010 - 10:10am)

Jill, words are just not enough to say how sorry I am for Eric, you, and the children. Continued thoughts and prayers to all of you. 


Bonnie Lea - (10/15/2010 - 10:29am)

Dear Jill,

I was sorry to read this today.  But I want you to know you are in all of our various methods of prayer.  Yes children who have had to be 'wise beyond their years'  are indeed something.  Melanoma is mean.  I hate it.  I am praying that Eric will have an easy passing, and that you and the children will one day be ok to continue on.

Bonnie Lea

Just Keep on Hanging In

Sharyn - (10/15/2010 - 11:29am)

Oh Jill, I am so sorry it has come to this. You both put up such a brave fight, it breaks my heart to see Eric throw in the towel. But any of us who have been through painful treatments and procedures know that there is only so much pain one can take. I will pray for peace and comfort for Eric, and for strength and courage for you and your kids, This will be th hardest part, so don't forget about your other family at MPIP. Remember, we're all here for you too. God bless!

Warm conforting hugs


Stage IV

WLE, SNB, ILP, LND, PV-10, Uterine mets (Hysterectomy), GM-CSF, WBR, RT, Temodar, B-RAF negative, SRS (Novalis) to brain, Breast mets (Mastectomy), currently on Ipilimumab compassionate use trial
Mets to brain, lung and sub-qs. Craniotomy.

EricNJill - (10/15/2010 - 11:55am)

Oh Jill,

I felt that maybe someone was going on.  I have had you on my mind everyday.  You tell Eric that we are thinking of him and praying for him.  We are praying for you and the kids as well.  Please feel free to call me if you want to talk, I'll send you my number on a FB message.

Hang in there, love you guys.

Jill N Eric in OH

Linda/Kentucky - (10/15/2010 - 12:42pm)


I am so sorry to hear this sad news.  I know each of us on here as caregivers can see ourselves in your position at any moment.  It must be so very hard for you.  Just know that the God of creation can, and will give you and your family strength to get through this.  I'm not saying this will be easy but in one way the hardest part is behind you now (the fight) I pray for peace and comfort in the coming days for each of you.  Please know we do care.  There is a special bond between ALL of us going through this same unfortunate journey.  Please continue to keep us posted.


Linda/Kentucky (wife stage IV)

I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me! Phillipians 4:13

ErikaHouston2 - (10/15/2010 - 9:48pm)

I am so sorry you and your family are having to go through this. My heart goes out to all of you. You are a strong woman, and your husband and children are so blessed to have you.

JuleFL - (10/15/2010 - 10:26pm)

Dear Jill,

I am so sorry to hear that you and Eric are going through this.  I understand how heartbreaking it is to hear those words from Eric, I have recently experienced this as well. I am sure that is not the way he really feels.  I am praying for you, Eric and your wonderful children.  God Bless.

Jule (Cal's wife)

Oh, I have slipped the surly bonds of earth and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings.........put out my hand and touched the face of God.
John Gillespie Magee, Jr

lhaley - (10/16/2010 - 9:14pm)


I hope that hospice has found the right combination of meds to keep Eric pain free yet let the two of you be able to talk.  I'm sorry it has come to this.


yensidw - (10/17/2010 - 2:18pm)


Praying for peace for you, Eric and the children.  Ron's illness was so quick he never made it to hospice.  I pray that they will provide comfort to you all.  If you want to talk please feel free to contact me.



Marydel - (10/17/2010 - 9:09pm)

you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers,



SusanE - (10/18/2010 - 10:04pm)

Jill, I am so sorry that this is happening to your family. I wish I could take the pain away for all of you. Hang in there. You are a strong woman and your children will need you.

Sending hugs and caring thoughts. One day we will know "why", at least I hope, and it will all make sense...

God Bless you and Eric and your lovely children.

Susan wife to Jerry stage III

Eric passed peacefully at 3:54am on Monday Oct 25th. We are heartbroken to say goodbye to such a wonderful father and husband. I don't think reality has quite set in and yet my heart is already in a million pieces. Prayers to all the fellow warriors, keep fighting and never give up hope.

Thank you for all the prayers and well wishes

Jill and Eric in Fl