Waiting fot biopsy results, again

Posted By
Melissa M
11/3/2017 10:15pm
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Replies: 14

Hi guys,
I went through the roller-coaster of melamona in August of this year. I had a large portion of skin removed from My thigh as well as 2 lymph nodes. It was scary but I had excellent care and my node were clear. I just had my first whole body scan, and they biopsied 2 moles thar my derm said looked a lot like the cancerous mole i just had removed. Im reeling. Im trying to be positive, but the thought that I cant escape cancer is rattling me. I should get my results by this Thursday. Any insight or support would be much appreciated. Love to you all!

I hope this is not more "heavy duty" than you are looking for, but I found this recent article to touch home on the notion that many people "double back" to the "existential slap" of that original diagnosis.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/11/the-existential-slap/...

Plugging Melanoma Today (tm) into this particular cancer  discussion, we have a aggressive cancer but also live in a miraculous time, which I think may exacerbate the tendency, so I try not to beat myself up over that "doubling back". 

Also, personally, I actively challenge myself to remember that scans are my freind. I don't have citations, but recall some data that indicated that longitudinally, if you are looking to "really be off the damn rollercoaster" it's about 40 months to where (for me a stage 3b) I can feel better about mortality odds getting tolerably low.  I don't think about getting off the ride so much as riding it well now. Spending time with all the data also teaches you how it loses meaning if you try too hard to translate it to an individual case. 

You have lots of people here that instantly care for your well being just for being here.

So you got that going for you.

 

Thank uou so much for this, its exactly what I didn't know I needed. Thst article is amazing and makes a lot of sense. I struggle with feeling both strong and accepting, and then feeling the unknown and out of control. When I'm in a good centered place, I realize that nothing ever really is in ones control and I can accept that. No matter what, I know I'm strong amd I can get there again, I just have to feel the feelings. Your words and support mean so much, especially from this community who has shared a journey. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So just remember, it's actually a small proportion of the melanoma warriors that ever have another primary - like 10%.  So 90% chance it isn't melanoma!

I like those odds! Thank you!

Hi!! I was diagnosed almost 6 years ago and at the base of my scar something popped up 4 weeks ago. I got it cut out on Wednesday. My nerves are crazy just like yours and im actually australian so im far from my family which is hard. Just wanted you to know youre not alone because boy do I feel alone right now. Thinking of you

Im here for you friend! Wishing you health and good results. You're wise to be taking care of your body amd being aware. Sending love and well wishes from the US! You're not alone ❤

Thank you! No one seems to understand how hard it is, especially when im 28!! My name's Melissa too! :) good luck, I hope you hear good things xc

Well 27, almost 28 lol

Anonymous - (11/4/2017 - 4:25pm)

This is likely the worst part of melanoma, the worry after each skin check, especially after biopsies. I've had more than one primary - they all looked totally different from each other. Something 'looking a lot like' my first melanoma would not have been a good indicator for subsquent melanomas. They looked nothing alike. At the same time, as well as the subsequent melanomas, I had about 10 other biopsies over the years, all clear. So long story short: in my experience, It's like that your biopsy will be clear. If not, it's likely to be a thin melanoma found early, hopefully even in situ/stage 0. As will any future primary - these regular skin checks and biopsies that we subject ourselves too make sure of that. It's odd that this is your first body scan - do you mean your first full body skin check? That's something you'll have to get very used to, it's going to be a regular thing for you (yearly, at least).

Anonymous - (11/4/2017 - 4:27pm)

Edited to add: the one thing they had in common was CHANGE - one darkened but stayed same size, one got blurry edges and got bigger and patchy colours, and one speckled lightly nearby skin. These were noticable changes, happening slowly over a period of a year or so. I, now, just look for CHANGE - and let my doctor's skin checks (I go 6 monthly) do the rest.

Thanks for sharing your experience, it comforts me to hear that odds are this is ok. This is my first full body check post melamona removal surgery, so I'm learning about odds and what to expect. I'm feeling all of the great support amd gaining strength. Thank you for your support! Wishing you wellness!

Hi,

This is a roller coaster ride and not the good kind.  I remember feeling like I had gotten on an express train and couldn't get off.  Once my diagnosis came down I was constantly reeling.  I remember sitting in the waiting room of the oncologist's office and thinking that I didn't belong there. I wanted to hope up and run out the door.  I had never quite felt that way before.  Waiting for scan or biopsy results is one of the hardest things.  Trying to digest the news and then make decisions quickly without focusing on the emotional response is challenging.  You can do this.  Try not to give in to the worry.  I'm currently distracting myself with work, taking care of my 84 year old mother.  I'm sure there are much better ways to handle the mental burden of all of this.  I hear meditation and yoga are great.

Good wishes to you.

Jennifer

hope should be hop.  :)

Thank you for your words or support Jennifer, thats exactly how I'm feeling right now. I wrapped Christmas gifts and spent some time with my best friend last night, focusing on things I love helps. I've also been home with my kids all weekend, which is a caling factor (most of the time) and I'm also not sharing my anxiety with them until/if I need to. The original conversations about cancer and surgery were hard enough. Thank you for your support, It means so much ❤